September 28, 2006

Last Class Trip. Missed!

I am going to miss my class-trip.

I can’t believe my timing…Neither can my friends

When I told some of my close friends that I wouldn’t be making it coz I was going out-station the same day as the trip, many of them just laughed.

And when I assured them that I wasn’t kidding, they laughed even more. They think I’m joking.
They’re like: “Who will miss the trip- You? Hah-hah, we know you’re coming.”

You see, I’m always counted-in - by default. Any head-count and I get counted-in automatically, and THEN asked later.

So if/when I have to refuse, this is what happens- I get disbelief.

Which makes the "saying-“-sorry-I’m-not-coming-”-experience even more bitter for me. This is what happened today.

I already felt like crap for not being able to make it to the trip, but when I finally told people I wasn’t going, I got incredulity and doubt…It was assumed I was coming anyway. Slit skin, insert salt, rub…

But this class-trip is a bit more significant than the others- It JUST MIGHT be my batch’s last trip together. Sure, the guys will go to Goa once, but it isn’t the same as having the entire class along.

Once the results are out, I can already see people rushing headlong into Internship. The studious ones will start their PG-entrance-exam preparations, many will join practitioners as assistants, a few will arse about…. a few won’t even make it into Internship! But Interns are Interns…(and Repeaters are Repeaters) and those left out of Internship for 6months will get no sympathy- life will just rolllll on.

There’s another reason why I so badly longed…YEARNED…to go on this trip. You see, I don’t really see myself passing all my papers this time... (something I have no problem admitting as such). And once the results are out, most of my batch is going to carry straight on, with a ho-hum, into Internship, while I get left behind till March.

…and “Before-Results” is going to be the only time that I will be seen as an equal amongst classmates. “After-Results”, well…it’s the reason I want to go on this trip with my entire batch, before the results come.

(PS: Arrrgh! Life is going to be unforgiving- It’s frustrating at times to know this and still be helpless…..Shit, this is kind of ‘negative’ blogging that a missed class-trip brings on! Hope my bad mojo doesn’t stick!)

(PS2: There's a song which comes to mind now...a Kenny Rogers number: "You Picked a fine time to leave me Lucille..." hehe)

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