December 23, 2008

Noise Cancellation Technology... In Church

If you have ever had the misfortune of having to enter a church when a Tamil-mass was in progress, or have had to suffer though the Tamil-hymns you know how universally bad the Tamil-choirs sound. And there is remarkable similiarity in the sound. =universally screechy.

The choir-members themselves are usually either, um... "ceruminously-occluded" or "acoustically-impaired", and so are unaffected by the sonic-torture they let loose on the congregation - amplified manyfold by "high-definition speakers". What this means is that the speakers are placed high enough that no sufferer can jump up and rip out the wires.

The congregation, in an attempt to save their auditory-apparatus frantically employ Noise-Cancellation-Technology by producing identical waveforms of an equal intensity. By singing along.

No doubt the serious audiophile will know that this same technology finds use in special-audio devices such as in the earphones of Military jet-pilots and Astronauts. This is a cunning use of wave-physics in Church!!!

If one cannot apply this defense, and are forced to sit silently- as a result of one's ignorance of Tamil, then nothing can save one's ossicles - the notes will be so high and nasal that soon one's ears will start to bleed. But the songs will go on. And on.

...Compelling reason to start learning decent-Tamil saving for BOSE Headphones!!!

Read more: Noise-cancelling
, BOSE® Patented Technology
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This work by Dinesh Swamy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.5 India License.